itsabrees

Well, everything with pregnancy continued until October when we were able to welcome to the world our precious, miracle of life, to our family and into the world… What could go wrong now? A lot!  Medically I was not in good shape. Six months after the birth, I was admitted to the hospital and required a hysterectomy.. needless to say my emotions were all over the board. Highest of highs to the lowest of lows. I was able to maintain, or so I thought, a certain amount of normalcy on the surface, but inside I was suffering. Unfortunately, I decided, or rather fell into self medicating with alcohol. As soon the children were down for the night, I drank as much alcohol as I could..  I just wanted to escape the pain that was circling around inside my brain.. but exactly was source of the pain? What was I not understanding about myself? What was going on? I finally sought the advice of my doctor, but if you don’y give all the details  (ie: how much alcohol you use, an accurate diagnosis in somewhat impossible.. So, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, put on medication and sent on my way. Although, there was the appearance of getting better… the worst was yet to come.

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